


How Parker Got Her Habit Back

by Tallulah_Rasa



Category: Leverage
Genre: Friendship, Humor, post-ep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-19
Updated: 2014-08-19
Packaged: 2018-02-13 20:28:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2164131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tallulah_Rasa/pseuds/Tallulah_Rasa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world of change, a habit can be a comforting thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Parker Got Her Habit Back

**Author's Note:**

> A kind of post-ep for "The Beantown Bailout Job", with vague spoilers for that episode. If you didn't see the episode, you should know that Parker was dressed as a nun through a lot of it. Warnings for adult (and possibly sacrilegious) language and concepts.

"Okay, I've got to ask," Eliot said, settling himself more comfortably on Nate's couch and selecting one of Nate's very good apples from the bowl on Nate's very stylish coffee table. "How'd you get the habit?"

Parker emerged from the kitchen holding an open box of cold cereal. "Why do you want to know?"

"Nate and I have a bet," Eliot admitted.

From the armchair next to the couch, Hardison looked up from his laptop. "Betting is _wrong._ "

"Filthy habit," Sophie agreed, coming down the stairs. She headed for the couch, and Eliot scooted over to make room for her.

"Speaking of habits..." Eliot said around a mouthful of apple.

"I want a cut," Parker said.

"All for one, one for all," Hardison said. "We _all_ want a cut."

"A slice," Eliot said, almost smiling. "The terms are pie."

"You bet with _pie_?" Sophie asked.

"It's not like we need more money," Eliot shrugged.

"Bite your tongue!" Sophie said, slapping him on the arm. "There's no such thing as enough--"

"Pie's good," Parker decided. "I like pie." She shoved a handful of cereal into her mouth.

Eliot grinned. "So, tell. But swallow first."

Parker swallowed, but made a face at him. "How do you _think_ I got a habit?"

"You stole it," Eliot said, nodding.

"She wouldn't steal from a _nun_ ," Hardison said. "Probably she just...you know, with a pattern, and a sewing machine..."

Parker gave him a look.

"You conned a sister out of her _clothes_?" Hardison asked.

"Oh, please," Sophie said. "Obviously, she became friendly with a pr--"

"Oh, no," Hardison said. "Do _not_ let Nate hear you say that."

"Nate's not here," Parker said.

"Sophie, are you saying...?" Eliot asked.

"Of _course_ not," Sophie said.

Eliot raised an eyebrow.

"It was just...Everyone needs a friend, all right?" Sophie said with some dignity.

"Uh-huh," Eliot said.

"Wait," Hardison said. "Does that mean _you_ have a habit? 'Cause Eliot here mentioned something once about--"

"Shut up, Hardison," Eliot growled.

"There was tequila involved," Hardison said. "Tequila often makes people admit to--"

"Would you like an apple?" Eliot interrupted. "I can put one directly into your digestive tract. From either end of your body."

"I'll pass," Hardison said, raising his hands in mock surrender. "Nana always told me to chew carefully." He lowered his hands slowly, and then made a few surreptitious taps on his keyboard.

"I'd better not be signing up for a lifetime subscription to _Digestive Health,_ " Eliot said.

"Of course not," Hardison said.

Parker peeked over his shoulder. "Just for a series of anger management seminars."

"What? How did that get there? Someone must be hacking my...don't you worry, I'll take care of _that_." Hardison said, shooting a disappointed look at Parker.

Eliot sat back and cracked his knuckles. "I know you will."

Sophie rolled her eyes. "Can we get back to...?" She leaned in toward Parker. "So...how _did_ you get the habit?"

"The usual way," Parker said, rooting through the cereal box for the marshmallow stars. "I joined up."

"You-- _what??_ " Hardison demanded.

"You were a _nun_?" Eliot asked. "For how long?"

Parker thought it over, her hand still in the cereal box, and then nodded. "Thirty seven minutes."

" _Thirty seven minutes?_ " Hardison repeated.

"The second time," Parker said. "The first time, it took longer." She turned toward Sophie. "I had to fill out some forms," she explained. "And it took me a while to find the supply room."

"Right, well, that can take time," Sophie said.

"You...entered a convent," Eliot said.

"Twice," Parker agreed.

"Well, that takes care of the bet," Eliot said. "I have to tell you, neither of us thought of _that_."

"We can still have pie, though, right?" Parker asked anxiously.

Eliot gave a little half-laugh. "Yeah, we can have pie. That story _deserves_ pie."

Sophie gave Parker a look. "Why twice?"

"What?"

"You said, 'the second time.' If you got a habit the first time, why...why do it again?"

"Oh," Parker said. "Well, I lost the first habit. And they're really useful, habits, and I was sort of used to having it..."

"It was habit," Hardison said sagely.

"And I thought I'd feel better if I got another one," Parker finished. "I don't like losing things."

"How do you lose a _habit_?" Eliot asked.

Parker looked at her feet. "I kept it at the office," she said. "Our old office. And..."

"Ahh," Sophie said.

"Yeah," Eliot said.

"The new habit's just as good as the old one," Parker said after a minute.

"Damn straight," Hardison said.

"Absolutely," Sophie said.

"Nate's got a kick-ass kitchen here," Eliot said, standing up and stretching. "What kind of pie do you want? I'm baking."

"The usual," Parker said.

"Or you could jazz it up," Hardison suggested. "Throw in a little something new."

"I'll run down to the market," Sophie said, unfolding herself from the couch and reaching for her bag.

"You remember what to buy, right?" Eliot asked. "Make sure you get all-purpose flour, not the self-rising kind."

"And don't forget the ice cream," Parker said.

The door opened just then, and Nate walked in, looked around his apartment, and sighed. "Do I want to know what's going on?"

"Parker used to be a nun," Hardison said.

"Twice," Sophie added.

"I'm making pie," Eliot said over his shoulder as he headed for Nate's kitchen.

"Like the kind he used to make," Parker said.

"But maybe a little different," Hardison added.

"This here is going to be the best pie _ever_ ," Eliot called out.

"Oh," Nate said. "Well, then, everything's normal." He looked at Parker. "Uh... _twice_?"

"We're all just--" Hardison began.

Eliot stalked out of the kitchen, tossing an apple menacingly. "Hardison, if you say, 'creatures of habit,' so help me, I'll--"

"I think he was going to say," Sophie said, "that sometimes a one-time thing requires an encore."

"I was," Hardison said, hand on heart. "I truly was."

"Okay, then," Eliot said, putting down the apple.

Nate rolled his eyes. "I've created a monster," he said. "A complete and utter monster."

Eliot smirked. Parker giggled. Hardison grinned.

"What?" Nate asked.

"More like a den of thieves," Eliot said.

"A bad habit," Parker added.

"A professional corporation, actually," Hardison said, entering something on his keyboard with a flourish.

Sophie gave them a look of fond exasperation and patted Nate on the arm. "A _team_ ," she said. "Just a team."

Nate gave her a long look, during which--for once--no one said a thing.

"Too much?" Sophie asked.

"Just a little," Nate said.

"Really?" Sophie asked, looking around the room for confimation. "I thought my delivery was rather good."

"It had a lot of...heart," Hardison offered.

"Maybe it was a little bit..." Eliot began.

"Hokey," Parker finished for him.

"Yeah," Eliot said.

"Seriously?" Sophie asked.

Nate shrugged. "A little." He looked at Hardison. "A professional corporation?"

"There are tax advantages," Hardison said.

There was a moment of pure silence, except for Eliot tossing an apple from hand to hand, Parker crunching on cereal, Hardison typing, and Sophie murmuring, "A team. Just a...just a _team._ "

"I'm going to take a shower," Nate announced, and headed for the stairway.

"And...that's it? That's all you've got to say?" Sophie asked.

"No one," Nate said from the stairs, without turning around, "is to join any religious orders while I'm..." He pointed upstairs. "Also, no stealing, no conning, and no setting up fraudulent corporations. And Eliot?"

"I shouldn't knock anyone out?"

"No, you should feel free to knock out anyone who tries to steal anything, con anyone, hack anything, or commit fraud."

Eliot grinned.

"So...board games are okay?" Parker asked. "I mean, you didn't say anything about cheating."

Nate stopped climbing the stairs then, dropped his head for a minute, and then, resolutely, started climbing again. "Eliot?" he called out.

"Nate?"

"That better be one hell of a pie."

END

 


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